


Penance

by owlmoose



Category: Final Fantasy X
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Minor Character(s), Post-Canon, Whatever happened to?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-08
Updated: 2010-11-08
Packaged: 2017-10-13 03:04:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/132127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/owlmoose/pseuds/owlmoose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone deals with the fallout from the destruction of Yevon in their own way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Penance

**Author's Note:**

> Written for "Fuck Yeah Final Fantasy", the FF anon fic meme on Dreamwidth. The prompt was Luzzu, "after Gatta's death in Operation Mi'ihen and the defeat of Yu Yevon."

Every day since coming home from Operation Mi'ihen, Luzzu stands guard at the shrine on the summit of Besaid Mountain. He follows the same ritual each day: he wakes early, takes a little breakfast, then trudges his way up the mountain to takes his place there, heedless of heat, wind, or rain. Then, when night falls, he makes his way back to his hard cot in the old Crusader lodge and disappears into sleep, only to begin again the next day. It is a subject of many whispers in the village, this vigil that Luzzu keeps, even after the destruction of Sin means that danger will never again come from the sea. Almost every morning, Lulu notices him go and then sees him coming back at night; almost every time she considers stopping him to ask why.

Until one day, six months into the Eternal Calm, Lulu is awakened by a roll of thunder, followed by the pounding of rain on canvas: the first storm of winter. She opens her eyes and, noting Yuna still rolled up in the blankets by the corner, quietly gets out of bed and throws on her winter cloak before slipping out the door and into the rain.

The storm is a fierce one: the rain falling in sheets, lightning piercing the sky. Alone in the village square, she makes her way toward the lodge. As she walks, she wonders. Surely these weather conditions will deter Luzzu from his daily errand? But no; as she reaches the door, she looks over her shoulder and sees him already walking through the gate, his dark red hair standing out against the gray day.

"What madness _is_ this?" For a moment she watches; then she turns on her heel to follow him up the hill.

Rain does not usually bother Lulu -- she enjoys being buffeted by the elements, drawing from their raw power -- but today she draws the hood of the cloak over her head, letting the dark purple folds of fabric fall around her face. Then she walks into the wind, breathing deep of the bracing cold air, concentrating on not slipping on the already-muddy trail that leads up the face of the mountain. She is only a few minutes behind Luzzu, but once she reaches the shrine, she sees that he is already soaked to the skin and shivering. She doubles her pace, and when she reaches him, she lays a hand on his wet arm.

"Come inside." She has to raise her voice to be heard over the wind and rain. "Whatever you're looking for, it's not worth this."

He breaks his pose of watchfulness long enough to cast her a quick glance, and then he shakes his head.

With a sigh, Lulu speaks a few words under her breath and gestures with the Moogle doll she carries beneath her cloak, and around them, the rain stops. Luzzu looks up, his eyes wide with surprise. "What..."

"A spell Yuna taught me, and then we modified it together." Lulu points up to the sphere of calm that she has cast around them. "A variation on Shell that protects against all the elements, magical and natural, over a small area." She tucks the doll under her arm, then rubs her hands together to cast a small warming fire at their feet. "And this one is all mine, of course. If you insist on being out in this wretched storm, at least I can keep you warm and dry for a little while."

Luzzu's answering smile is marked with sadness. "I don't deserve your aid, or your comfort. But thank you."

Lulu tips her head to the side, considering him. "Ah. You do this as a penance?"

"Of a sort." He looks away. "I led too many friends to their deaths. Chappu, Gatta, others you've never even known. That was bad enough. But to learn that it was all for a lie? A fraud?" He shakes his head. "It's too much to bear."

"Yevon deceived us all," Lulu replies, her tone soft. "You can't blame yourself for not discovering the truth."

"Can't I?" Luzzu lowers his eyes, his free hand clenching into a fist. "There were clues. Operation Mi'ihen, of course, but that was hardly the first. Odd decisions made by the Maesters, strange rumors out of Bevelle and other places. And though no one person put all the clues together, some people did walk away before the truth was known. I could have walked away, too. And maybe if I had, more of the people I care for would be alive."

"Maybe." Lulu steps around to stand in front of him and meets his eyes. "But you can't know. You'll never know. And punishing yourself for mistakes you couldn't have known you were making isn't going to change that." She waits for a moment, letting the thought sink in. "Maybe it's time to let them all go." Turning away, she lets her gaze drift out to where the sea meets the sky. "I have. At least, I try."

Luzzu is silent, and she stands next to him, the two of them watching the storm-tossed ocean together. When he finally stirs, it is to look at her again, his smile less stiff now. "I'll think about it," he says.

"That's all I ask." Lulu pats his arm, then steps away. "The fire will burn itself out soon, but the Shell spell should last a few hours more, and it's designed to keep elements in as well as out, so it should keep you warm for awhile. See you tonight." She steps out of the sphere of calm and back into the storm, then heads back down the mountain, letting the hood fall back from her face so she can feel the kiss of the rain on her cheeks.

-x-

It is the next day; the storm has passed, and Lulu is up early once again, greeting the sunrise with a cup of tea on the temple steps. As she sips from the cup, the lodge door flips open, and Luzzu appears, pack in his hand. She stands and hurries to him. "Luzzu?"

He turns to her, his expression peaceful. "Lulu. I thought on your words, and your kindness, all yesterday and last night. This morning, I came to a decision." He gestures to the knapsack in his hands, then slings it over his back. "You're right that I need to let the past go, but without my past, who am I? Where do I belong?" Looking up at the sky, he lets out a deep breath. "I'm not going to find that out here, surrounded by a lifetime of memories and regrets. The answer is out there, somewhere." He turns his gaze back down to her. "It's time for me to go find it."

"I'm glad," Lulu says with a smile. "Good luck."

"Thank you." He stoops down to leave a light kiss on her cheek, and then he leaves, walking through the village with a lighter step than he's shown in years. Lulu watches him go, and resolves to do a better job of taking her own advice.


End file.
